Activation by Agitation

A few months back I was listening to a message on the story of Esther from the Old Testament. It's such a great story for a lot of reasons, with some unexpected twists and turns and an ending with victory for the "good guys". I've always liked it but listening to it that day it resonated in a different way that went beyond hearing.  The words went in and wove through me. That day I could actually feel them like a deep breath that refreshes vigor.

In a nutshell, the story goes like this…. There is an evil government official named Haman who hates the Jews and devises a plan to have them all executed.  A Jew named Mordecai finds out about the plan and fills in his cousin Esther.  Esther is in a very interesting position.  Because she is beautiful, she has been chosen as Queen for King Xerxes, but no one knows she is a Jew.

Mordecai confronts Esther with the situation at hand.  She needs to use her position as Queen to request that Xerxes protect the Jews.  But there is a problem.  The law states that if someone comes before the king without his invitation they are to be put to death, unless he raises his scepter to allow their presence and preserve their life.

Up until this point I imagine that Esther is leading a good life for a young Jewish woman in that city.  She probably has some pretty nice clothes, a comfortable place to live, plenty of good food to eat. She has a eunuch or two as her personal servants.  It’s not a bad gig.  But Mordecai points out that Queen or not, she faces the same destiny as the rest of the Jewish people if Haman and his plan succeed.  And, she may very well have been given all the benefits of her royal position to be used “for such a time as this”.

She sat on Mordecai’s words for a minute and though the story doesn’t include details I imagine Esther on her knees, maybe face on the ground, agitated in some deep, internal wrestling… a battle of wills and wants over self-preservation vs. a surrender of self for the accomplishment of a greater purpose.  In my mind I see her rise up, not abruptly but steady with intention and resolve.  She is standing tall. She shakes her head and holds it high, neck exposed… a vulnerability which only exposes her true courage. She squares up her shoulders with strength but also a captivating beauty and powerful grace. There is a crown of honor and dignity on her head that cannot be shaken or taken from her because it was bestowed by God, not man.  There is no sense of pride in her.  She is humble and fully committed.

Esther also rises as a leader.  She sends word to Mordecai to gather the Jews…. all those who face the risk or benefit of the outcome of the situation…. “Gather the Jews who live here and fast for me.  Don’t eat or drink for three days”… pray and fast like your lives depend upon it…because mine does, and “when this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law.  And if I perish, I perish.”

Once surrendered in choosing God’s greater purpose over preserving her own life, she rises up as a Force. She is empowered and emboldened because she has nothing to lose. She has already commited her own life to the cause.

Maybe I don’t just read or hear this story, but FEEL IT because it is how and who I want to be  all of the time, and especially when facing situations where I have to choose between Self- preservation, protection, benefit and Self-surrender, for the accomplishment of something greater.   Like staying quiet and not defending myself for the sake of peace and unity with others…. Or not airing my grievances because it could pollute someone else’s attitude or opinion… or just even letting someone else have their preference for something because it makes them happy.

This morning while thinking about the story of Esther and how it felt in my mind and caused me to stand differently that day months ago, I recalled being in Napa Valley on a tour of a winery.  The guide was demonstrating how to swirl the wine in the glass in order to release the fullness of the aroma and flavor… to disturb and agitate the wine in such a way that the depth of the goodness in it rises up.  It is to Volatilize The Esters.

... and I smiled at what God had done right there. He knows how much I enjoy word play...

“Lord, awaken again that Esther spirit within me.  Raise it up like a Force.  She is a weapon of warfare and I need my knowledge of her to be nuclear.  When I am agitated and disturbed let it volatilize and release that Esther aroma and flavor and call me to stand steady with intention and resolve. That I would shake off fear or dread or complacency, square up my shoulders, hold my head high, being called for something greater, to lay down my own cause, courageous in the face of my own vulnerability, filled with a formidable power and the beauty of your grace, unashamed and crowned by You with honor and dignity that can never be shaken or taken from me. A force.”

#esther #standtall #courage #fearless #honor #dignity #queenesther